The Universe Makes A Lot Of Comparisons
by Haylay114
Summary: (Phil/OC) When Audrey Wooley falls in love with her best friend, Phil, things seem, for once in her life, ok (perfect, actually). But, when she just can't deal anymore because of her past, Phil reveals to her a tragic secret, that will leave her to choose between happiness (something she's never felt before), and the life of her best friend.
1. Chapter 1

It's funny, really.

How one person has the power to change to world, to save lives, to do all kinds of wonderful things, to make a difference.

But at the same time, that person, they could die, and the world would keep on spinning. Nobody needed them, everyone would be perfectly happy without them.

Or both.

Or just one or the other.

Does it really matter? One person? Is there any point in obsessing over one person, in trying to save them, in trying to convince others that one person matters, that the world should care about them?

Absolutely.

Audrey Wooley was nothing important; nor was she unimportant. She was nothing special; nor was she not special. She was nothing memorable; nor was she forgettable.

She was just…

Audrey.

She was nor tall, nor short (5'5); and her hair was nor long, nor short (down to her boobs); and she was nor skinny, nor fat (115 Ib).

But enough comparisons. This is where the story begins.

Grey, grey, grey, grey. While most people see the world as it supposedly is, in color, I see it in grey.

I'm not even shitting you right now. I literally see every thing in grey.

Not black and white.

Not sepia.

Grey.

I've come to hate that color.

The psychologists say it's "severe depression."

The guidance counselor says "She's simply psychotic."

The kids at my school say "She's just making it up to get attention."

I say it's just the way I was born.

Because it is.

But to be honest, I think the therapists are right.

But my life's not all bad, though.

I have two amazing best friends, Annabelle Feles, and Phil Lester.

Annabelle is a redhead (with blue bangs), 5'10, has a septum nose piercing on a button nose, brown eyes with glasses, likes cheese (a lot), and is a sarcastic asshole.

Phil is ebony haired, has deep, deep, _deep_ blue eyes, the kind you can get lost in (but my love towards him is completely platonic, like a brother), is tall as fuck, never swears, and he's the nicest person you will ever meet.

So, ya, those are the two people that make my life whole. I'd include my dad, but he's just the kind of person that one cannot describe.

But he's awesome, though. My mom died in childbirth (painlessly, he promises, though I can't imagine any situation where childbirth is painless), so it's just me and him, living in our pathetic, yet amazing, three bedroom house.

He's an aspiring artist, and by that, I mean an aspiring writer, but writing is absolutely art. Maybe that's why I love it so much.

But I don't just write, I (attempt) to play piano. Quite successfully, if I might add. I can play Billie Jean, Heart and Soul, and Moonlight Sinatra.

So, since my dad is a writer (and a _really_ good one), we're not just barely scraping by. But, we're not rolling in the dough, either. I get the things I want, but not everything I want. I get what I need, but not only what I need. So, I'm doing pretty well, but not _too well._

_So, my life was horribly unbearable, yet also wonderfully amazing._

_Well, I guess the universe decided to make me choose one or the other._

_And when I didn't choose, the universe chose for me._


	2. Chapter 2

Audreys POV

_Thank god for spotify_, I thought as I blasted Pierce The Veil as loud as it would go. Their music really means a lot to me.

But it was over as soon as it began, because one of the doctors came running up to me, panting, with an angry look on his face.

_Oh shit._

"Miss…" pant. "…Wooley…" pant.

I took my headphones out, a little irritated. "Yes?" I snapped.

"No headphones-" he stopped, and then "-No _music_- in this institution is allowed, at all, no acceptations."

_WHAT THE FUCK?_

I started to object, but it started to happen again. I could feel the panic attack coming on, just like the one that brought me back here, to this mental hospital.

I wasn't mental, or crazy, of course, but I do get these a lot. In all honesty, I have no idea why I can't listen to music, it actually helps a lot.

My vision began to blur, the walls started to close in, the room was spinning, people and their voices faded away, everything was happening so fast, and the last I could remember, somebody stuck a needle into my hand, and then everything went black.

_**3 hours later**_

Audreys POV

As soon as my eyes gave even a hint of opening, I could tell that my dad, Annabelle, and Phil were already there.

When they noticed that I was awake, they walked slowly, cautiously, to my bed. I noticed I was no longer in a psychiatric ward, but in an actual hospital. I had and IV, food tray, a crappy TV, the works.

"Audrey?" I didn't have to see him to know that it was Phil speaking to me.

I smiled. "Wuddup, Phillip", I said sarcastically, the way he hates and loves at the same time.

He made a fake pouting face, then motioned f0or the others to leave the room. _Oh, god, not again_, I thought. This happened all the time. The doctors don't think I can handle three people at once, so the make me see them one at a time.

Then again, the reasoning behind that might just be to prevent another panic attack. I shrugged the thought off.

"Hey, Audrey", Phil said softly. "Hi, Philippine", I teased.

I reached for the remote, but my arm was too sore from the IV, even though it was in my hands. Phil immediately grabbed my arm, placed it b my side on the bed, and gave the remote to me.

"What do you want to watch?" I asked as cheerfully as I could fake. He looked shocked, then, slowly, but gradually, started to laugh. This puzzled me.

"What?" I asked through laughs induced by his own. "Nothing", he said, "It's just that you're in critical condition, and you're the one who should be getting better, not me."

This really pissed me off. I'm not "sick", and I don't need to "get better". He knows that I hate it when people say that, yet he still said it.

But, he must have realized his mistake, maybe by the tears in my eyes threatening to spill, because he immediately pulled me in for a hug, apologizing every chance he could get.

Finally, when we were done making up, I said, "Doctor Who." He looked confused. "What?" he asked. "I want to watch Doctor Who."

"OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH", he said, realizing what I meant. Then, his constant giggling suddenly stopped. His eyes drifted over to the door, then back to me.

"Phil?"

He looked down. He was acting weird. More so than usual, and in a different way.

I decided to try to break the ice that had been cracked countless times by unrelenting tools, the ice that separates me and the rest of the world. Well in this case, the ice that separates me and Phil.

"Hey, you're not going to rape me, are you? Because I think I've already been through enough today, don't you?" I giggled nervously.

I spoke wrong Phil collapsed, and started crying.

I started to panic, but not in a panic attack sort of way. I struggled out of my bed, and crouched down next to the boy I'd been best friends with since elementary school..

"Phil? Please, tell me what's wrong."

This made him sob even more.

"Nothing, it's just that- that I think that I lo- I think that I love-"

My heart stopped. _No way. Phil doesn't love me. Who could? And anyway, I love Phil too, but as a friend. And something tells me the phrase "as a friend" isn't going to be included in the sentence he's about to finish._

"-being around you."

_Oh._


	3. Chapter 3

Phils POV

_WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?! _

"_I think I love being around you, Audrey, I'm so glad we're friends, Audrey, Ou relationship will always be platonic, Audrey._"

I kept replaying the events in my head: I was about to tell Audrey I love her, I chicken out, I save my ass by turning my confession of love into a confession of love for our platonic relationship, I run out, I walk home.

What the HELL is wrong wih me?

I probably broke the poor girls heart. I probablly got her hopes up. I probably caused her another panic attack.

_You shouldn't be beating yourself up for this_, I told myself.

You know, in times like this, I find that lying to myself really helps.

In order to distract myself, I took my crappy iPod from my music stand, plugged in my headphones (the ones that Annabelle gave to me), and put on _A Match Into Water _by Pierce The Veil. Their music really means a lot to me.

It was then that I lost myself in the world of music, as all of my troubles melted away. But not long after, my mum bursted in, and you could see the anger radiating from her.

"PHILLIP MICHAEL LESTER! WHAT ON EARTH WERE YOU THINKING? YOU GAVE THE POOR GIRL A PANIC ATTACK! DON'T YOU THINK THAT SHE'S BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH FOR ONE DAY? YOU WORTHLESS LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT, YOUR FATHER WOULD HAVE BEEN SO DISSAPOINTED, I KNOW I AM..."

Her words faded away, as _Fade To Black _came on. Ironically, that song described my feelings perfectly.

I started to fall asleep, and, apparently, my mum was still there, so she didn't take my ignoring her so well. She yanked my headphones out, grabbed my iPod, and through it against the wall. I ran to retrieve it, but she pushed me down.

This was normal.

She stormed out of the room, locking the door behind her. I'm used to being locked in my room.

Just then, my phone rang. _My phone!_ I had a shit ton of music on my phone. I answered the call, and I recognized the caller by the ringtone.

Swiping the screen, thus ending the song _My Humps_, I smiled as Audreys Voice came into my ears. "Wuddup, Phillip", she said, as though nothing had happened. "Hey, Audrey, I'm- I'm really sorry. For causing you to have another panic attack, I mean."

She giggled. She _giggled_! "That's alright, Phil, it was inevitable, I get them all the time. You shouldn't blame yourself." There was an awkward pause of silence. "So", she said, "do you mind if I come over? I'd like to talk to you." "Did they already let you out?" "Yup", she said cheerfully, though it did sound a little forced.

And with that, we hung up.

_She's gonna be here in 5 minutes_, I thought in a panic. _She probably wants to talk about "The Incident"._

Time flew faster than I'd like, and before I knew it, Audrey was knocking at my front door. My mum let her in, of course, as I was still locked in, and I could hear her running to unlock my door before Audrey noticed. Little does she know that Audrey already knows.

In walked Audery, purple haired, brown eyed, short little Audrey. Wait, purple hair?

"Wuddup, Phillip", she said. "Damn, can't you think of anything else?" I teased. Despite my nervous giggling, her faced turned real serious, real fast. "Audrey?" No answer. "Your hair is purple...", I said, my voice trailing off towards the end. No answer. This went on for ten minutes, me making small talk, her covering her face in her hair and not speaking.

Then, "Phil?" I looked up. "Um, I need to talk to you. But..." "But what, Audrey? You know you can tell me anything. What is it?"

She sighed. "Well, in the hospital, you said something. You said that you loved me. And I need to know if you were serious." I was a little confused. "I said I loved being around you." She seemed hurt by this. _Oh shit._ "Phil, please, I've known you since we were little. I can tell what you mean, I can tell you wanted to say it. Phil. _I need to know. _Were you serious?"

I dropped to my knees, and tears ran down my face at an alarming rate. "Audrey", I said betwen tears, "what the hell were you thinking?" She began to run towards the door, but I grabbed her leg, still on my knees. "What kind of question is that? _Of course I love you._" Silence.

After a while, I catiously said, "D- do you love me?"

She looked scared. "I- I don't know, Phil, I think I do, but I just don't know. That's why I came over here. I just had to get that out of the way. But it's okay, you don't have to lie to me. Nobody loves me. I'm so fucked up, all I do is burden you." _What the FUCK?_ "Audrey, you know me. I don't lie. I just feel too remorseful about it. _I love you, more than you will ever comprehend._ And besides, you're not a burden, at all. You having panic attacks doesn't scare me away, Audrey, it only makes me love you more."

"About that, Phil...I don't just have panic attacks."

Audreys POV

_Should I tell him? No, he'll just hate me even more. But, he might not. But..._thoughts rushed through my head, as I silently screamed at myself for saying what I said. I don't even want him to know I had panic attacks, now I'm gonna tell him I have even more problems? Oh, well. What do I have to lose? Though I already knew I was going to tell him, a tiny little voice said _everything._

I sighed, a nervous, terrified sigh. "Okay, Phil. I'm going to tell you something. You'll probably hate me by the end, but I need to show to you it's in your best interest if you just abandon me now." He tarted to object, but I shushed him with my hand.

"Okay. Well, I guess it all started when I was . I'm actually adopted. You know why? My parents were murdered. We lived in a 3 bedroom house, with my 2 year old brother. One day, my dad- my real dad- he took us to get ice cream. But he needed to get money from the bank, so he went there first. He wanted to leave us in the car with my mom, but we insisted we go in, as we went everywhere with him. The main reason, though, was because the security guard would always give us lolly pops from the counter that me and my brother couldn't reach. His name was Mike, and he happened to be the only security guard there, as well as my moms brother. We loved uncle Mike, and he was the first to go. While we were in line to get the money, four men came rushing into the bank, all wearing bandanas around their heads. That's why I can never watch the music video for King For A Day. But the first one the went for was the guy in the cops uniform- uncle Mike. He put up a fight, but four agaisnt one, well, he just couldn't make it. Once they shot him, they moved on to all bank tellers but one. The poor girl just started working there, and didn't know the combination for he vault. Needless to say, they killed her. One of them decided to go get it themselves, and the other three told everyone to get on their knees. My brother started to cry, as he was understanding what was going on, and he was instantly shot, point blank, in his head. Guess what? I was holding spattered everywhere, mostly on me, and my dad covered my mouth, thankfully, muffling my scream. But he shouldn't have done that. He should have let me die. Because I guess one of the bank robbers saw him move, and shot him in his chest. The horrible part was, though, that he didn't die instantly. I had to watch him suffer, while not screaming or crying. Once he was dead, my mother had the nerve to spek to ne of the robbers, without moving. 'Excuse me, sir? Can I please just hold my baby, one last time? Please.' That didn't go well with the men. One of them nodded at the other, and my mom flung herself onto me. They shot her back at least 20 times, and I couldn't move. I was covered in three peoples blood, and I had the corpse of my mother, who I loved more than anything in this world, crushing me. Eventually, they got the money, and one of them walked up to me. He took off his bandana, and he was crying. It was obvious he didn't want to be here, that he was forced or blackmailed, and I realized that he hadn't killed anyone. 'I am so, so sorry.' Tears ran down his face, an I worked up the courage to ask him something. 'Sir?' He looked up at me, shocked. 'Please sir, shoot me, shoot me so I can be with my family.' The words came out of my mouth before I knew I said them, but I realized I wanted to be shot. So I wasn't expecting what came next. He raised his gun, but not to me. He shot himself in the mouth, and blood spattered all over me. The other bank robbers had fled, and I looked around. I was _literally_ the only one out of the 50 people still alive. Corpses lied everywhere, and that was when I had my first panicattack. I cried, screamed, went crazy. My clothes felt like they were growing tighter and tighter, and my hair felt too tight on my head. I tried desperately to bring my family back, but it was no use. 53 minutes later, the police came. They saw me, and all the dead bodies, and realized what happened. I guess that's why I'm bipolar, I have extreme social anxiety, and depression. And, obviously, panic attacks. So, now you know why you can't love me. I'm just too fucked up for anyone to love."

Phil got up, and left the room. I knew this would happen. But he came back almost instantly, with something in his hand. He got down on one knee, and revealed a beautiful ring. and said, "Audrey "Wooley, the best thing that ever happened to me, my love, my life, the one I will love you no matter what, will you love me?"


End file.
